Alkaloids to Replace Water as the Human Bodies Most Common Element- Out of Body Gestation?

In what seems to be a heavily guarded area of developmental biology, a team of student researchers has uncovered quite a ghastly plan in the molding of the human genome.

From all they can discern, it is that the existing, mind blowing amount of the hedonistic consumption of cocaine actually has a purpose... within the celebrity population especially.

From their tests, they have established that it is a goal to replace the most common element of the human body, being water (H2o), with alkaloids of the cocaine/amphetamine derivative.

The purpose for this is even more morose. It is in an effort to acclimate the human body, especially in the gestation period, to be able to develop in a near normal manner immersed within a saline/alcoloid solution. This would allow researchers and Evil Scientists around the world to readily gestate and effectively birth live "human beings" without a female body having been part of the series of events.

That is correct, "Evil Amphetamine Science Doctor Babies" walking among us! All of them without a limit to their energy levels and in no way needing the type of rest that the rest of us "Normal Evil Science Doctor Babies" need in our every day life.

The team of student researchers has requested to remain anonymous for fear of their lives... as all know that "Evil Amphetamine Science Doctors" are a particularly nasty sort... and finding out about their extremely evil and bad experiments would make a person an even bigger target.

"Really," said one of the anonymous students.... "it's kind of cool isn't it, when you think about it? Being able to make little coke head babies without all of the nagging that goes along with the withdrawals the "host" would be growing through in the gestation period. I particularly think it would be neat to have a big Evil Science Lab with allot of floating babies and stuff.... I mean really, who wouldn't? Just like a bigger version of the Magic Floating Sea Monkey things you used to be able to get in the comic books."

In response to further inquiries pertaining to the exact concept, he had this to say; "O.K., it's like you have a big fish tank, right... with a baby floating in it.... gestating.. growing until it's ready to be a little poop machine.... If our initial guess is anywhere in the neighborhood, it should be easy enough that anyone with a bath tub could do it. You get some saline solution.... about a gram and a half of cocaine from anywhere on the street... and a little bit of fish food. In nine months, you have a healthy human baby. that is, after you get a "little girl stuff" and mix it with a bit of "boy stuff".... then you just stir it in the bathtub with the blow and saline solution..... I guess it would help if you had a heat lamp for the first two or three months... but really, that's about all that there is to it. Pretty cool, huh?"

My questioning continued with what he thought the actual purpose was, to which he responded; "Dude, how am I supposed to know that? We just got high one night and stumbled on this thing.... don't ask me to run the world or anything.... but as far as I can tell... the idea is to make a better human... one that is ready to consume amphetamines from birth and doesn't need to sleep much, if at all. Maybe it's for the video gamers or something.... wouldn't that be cool?"

I continued with- "How did YOU find this out?"

To which he replied; "Umm... what?"

"Seems like an easy enough question" I responded.

"What? Ummm...."

After a moment of what appeared to be thought, he issued this statement; "O.K., so I stole some other guys note book... so what? The chicks think it's cool... and they believe me. They don't like that other guy anyway because we said he was a loser.... and I tell them that they are cool and give them free blow. So.... there. That's it in a nutshell I guess... the modern education system at work. How can you blame us?"


My next question was the mind bender for him; "What kind of fish food?"


To which he responded; "Dude?... What?"



"Moron" the "Evil Science Students" as it develops.