Blue Man Group and Cirque Du Soleil To Be Replaced!

In a joint statement issued to the New York Times this morning, Entertainment icon Steve Wynn and former mob lawyer/part time consultant for the HBO series "Sopranos" turned Mayor of Las Vegas, Nevada- Oscar Goodman, made it known their intentions to replace the popular lounge shows "Blue Man Group" and "Cirque Du Soleil" as well as any others they can "get their hands on," Goodman said between swills of Beefeater in a drunken slur.... "including the run down old, saggy naked broad show at the Tropicanna."

"Yeah, not for notin'," Steve Wynn added, "we are going to replace them with life sized marionette shows using the local hotel employee unions. It worked so well when we got rid of 'Cats' on Broadway, that we thought it was the way to go to save... and thusly make more money for us guys... here in Vegas..... the hotel and restaurant employees make great puppets... they work for peanuts and don't move until we tell 'em," he said. "How can it be wrong? It landed me on the F*cking Forbes list in '04 for cryin' out loud... it doubled my worth in less than a year.... forget about it!... and besides... THE CHICKS DIG IT!... I got more leg now than I ever had... they're crawlin' all over me...but hey, don't tell my wife or mother.... I got relationships to protect.... and Osc? Goodman? He didn't get laid for years until we moved on this project...... now? He ain't never NOT goin' to be the Mayor in 'good standing' (wink nudge)... if you know what I mean? Even as much as he hits the sauce..... the chicks can't get enough!"

When asked about his Jewish/Italian heritage and upbringing in the bingo industry in the Northeast Steve Wynn responded "What? Wha...? You think you know somethin'? You want some of me? You ain't gonna ask me about the Jews takin' over the world through entertainment are you? Cause I got news for, pal... they already did! And it started with Bingo, buddy! And bingo in the Catskills was never better under anyone else but my ol' man, rest his soul...it put me through school in Pee Ayye.... so if you think you know somethin'... go ahead.... take your best shot. I got every blue haired, fat little old lady on the civilized planet pullin' for me... forget about the muscle heads I could have 'accident you'.....cause you ain't never seen hell like little fat old ladies can bring.... you got me? So... go ahead?" he continued "And besides with Osc... the Jews now got the best goyim Lawyer on the west coast at least.... pulling political strings from the most powerfull entertainment city in the western hemisphere..sure it's between binges and hang overs, but...hey...... so you want some? G'head.... get a little..... no? That's what I thought."

When casually questioned about the next display of his rather extensive art collection, Steve Wynn said "Who wants to know? Like it's any of your business.... so I happen to like art work.... don't expect me to show you my magic marker collection, either.... they are for me and my special time with my Mickey Mouse ears! And some of the chicks, of course... but just the ones that I really trust, the ones that like to wear Mickey Mouse ears.... you know what I mean?"

When asked if Mr. Goodman intended to run for another term as mayor, he responded "What are youssstalkin' about? You mean dere's an'lexshtion for this gig?"

It is reported that the current show times will remain unchanged until further notice.