Louie Anderson to Replace Leno as Tonight Show Host!

Los Angeles -In a sad defeat with quote "everything on the line," Jay Leno lost his coveted chair as The Tonight Show host to none other than Louie Anderson (formerly of Family Feud fame) in a winner take all eating contest.

Leno was quoted as saying "I don't know what the hell I was thinking..... it must have been the booze and pharmaceuticals talking when I agreed to this match.... this is Louie Anderson here... I got in an eating contest with Louie Freaking Anderson... what was I thinking?"

Apparently it all started at a private celebrity gathering stemming from a conversation (brag session) about ratings and popularity over coctails and piles of pharmaceutical grade drugs in candy bowls through out the party hosts estate.

"We were talking about who was more popular with the T.V. crowd" said Anderson, "when one thing lead to another.... and... well... pretty soon we were yelling at each other..... before we knew it, we were naked in the swimming pool.... wrestling....I had a lawn chair stuck up my butt and Leno in a head lock... then out of no where there was this womans scream...... um... it turned out to be Britney Spears next door, when her water broke.... It seems she was trying to find out what all the commotion was... and strained herself peaking over the divider wall...... I feel so dirty......"

Representatives of Jay Leno have issued an official account which is similar to Anderson's, though both admit that the entire thing is more than a bit hazey... though Louie Anderson has opted to continue the party in celebration of his victory.

Leno's management have sought an injunction until Hillary Clinton can appoint a comity to investigate the fairness of the actual eating competition. Several different accounts have surfaced since the initial ruling in Andersons favor... though Crispin Glover was quoted as saying that "I'm not entirely sure what all went on, we were all pretty loaded... but I do know that we all haven't had so much fun since Disney sponsored a winner take all tournament of Old Maid over at Jim Carrey's for Harp Seal pelts."

A break down of the competition is as follows;

The competitors were both to finish a set amount of various pre-produced food products, in a "free for all" fashion in the fastest time. Meaning that there was no specific order in which they were to address each food type/item.

Spam, Hotdogs, Pigs Feet, Pimento Loaf and one gallon each of Wendy's chili.

The Olsen Twins could not be reached for questioning.