Houston Residents Throw the Worlds Largest Traffic Jam In Celebration of Hurricane Rita.

"It's like WOW!. It is so like California!" Exclaimed a young semi-professional woman from her idling car.

New records were reportedly set for used gallons of gasoline and the inane activity of sitting in your idling car on a perfectly good freeway, going no where. Californians have contested this, insisting that the measure for such an empty headed activity as is the wastefull behavior of sitting in a traffic jam, needlessly burning gasoline in a "gallons per mile" fashion, should be measured in the totals from years of such behavior, not just one day.

"There is really allot of pride at stake here" said a visiting California man beginning to set up a tail gate party on I-45.... Sure, it kind of looks like what we do for entertainment out in California, but no way it's as good as the real thing....you see, it's just more enjoyable in Cali... here in the third coast area, there's allot more moisture in the air.....that just makes it less fun."

Conversly, as crazy as humans are... it is now thought that the sudden drastic rise in emission fumes is a major contributor to having weakened Hurricane Rita from a catagory 5 to a catagory 4 storm. The effect of this added toxicity to the immediate atmosphere should continue in a similar manner, as it does daily in southern California, though the Houston area will experience a more parabolic effect- unless of course they "take a real likin'" to the California passtime of the "freeway park and idle" contest which is the L.A. area.

Subsiquintly, due to the ease of influencing the human psyche, after the news of the storm weakening many "stranded" on the Houston area freeways now believe that if they rev their engines while stationary on the roadways... it will lower the storms rating even more. Many feel that this is a provable conection... as provable at any rate as any of the other obsesive compulsive, supersticious activities that fuel most of the professional and amateur sports world. "Hey" said Mr. Slobberpocket in a recognizable southern drawl, "It works fer them, and fur as I know it always has.... ain't no reason not to believe that one thang wood 'fect t'other. My momma used to say that if the cat ain't a yawlin', ain't nothin' on it's tail! ... so ya' see, it all makes sense when you look to it ah that a' way, now don't it.?"

I then declined to hear further comment.

Idle away, Mr. Slobberpocket! I should mention that most "get a ways" in history happened at a faster pace than inch's per hour.... and definitely faster than "gallons per hour" at any rate.