Leo Sterbach - Mr. Happy Pill Dead at 97

Leo Sterncach of Nutley, N.J. shown here with his favorite pet molecule and signature googlie eye glasses, inventor of the widely loved and consumed Valium (diazapam) has died at the age of 97 years.

It is said that he passed quietly (no big surprise) surrounded with family, teddy bears, a few really old Rock Stars, Julia Louis Dreyfus and Barbara Streisand.... both naked, covered with glitter and lipstick... and slobbering profusely on one another in their sedated state.

When asked how Mr. Happy Pill felt about such display while on his death bed, one of the more coherent in attendance replied... "Ah.. man... like... you know... he was cool with it.... he knew they were all messed up.... he's cool like that.... man we really liked that guy."

It is said that viewing will be held on the Hollywood Walk of fame where many think he should actually be entombed.... then services following at Pink Floyds communal Beverly Hills Mansion.... complete with musical accompaniment and performances from talent that spans the decades, including The Rolling Stones with an acoustic version of "Mother's Little Helper" as well as a small Sound Garden reunion to perform the Cheech and Chong classic of "Ear Ache My Eye," in addition to a Ramones tribute band performing "I Wanna Be Sedated."

It is expected that there will be an open pill bar at the wake... NO PRESCRIPTIONS NEEDED! "Get there dude!" said Steven Tyler of Aerosmith. "This kind of free high doesn't come around every day.... and I'm telling you it's worth it... between him and the Peruvian Snowflake Machine, my whole career seems like it went really really fast for awhile... then reaaaaalllly slllooooowww for awhile... then really really really fast again... then slooowwww...... yeah man.. wow.. don't miss it."

Robin Williams was slated to perform at the services, but it is after all, a funeral of sorts.

When asked if they would be in attendance, the nude duo of Julia Louise Dreyfus and Barbara Streisand did what they could to respond; "mmMMblahhssssssssssssshh Moessaaaa... sssshhhhh...deeeaaad guuuyyy" said Streisand pointing slowly toward Sternbach....with "Pooogggmmnaa... fuuuunny" quickly added by Dreyfuss while following the apparent tracers of the microphone swaying in front of her... and the glitter on her hands.

None of the political figures that are really big fans could be reached for comment fearing a smudge on their professional careers. Most just think they didn't want to share their glitter and lipstick.

The much celebrated inventor will surely be missed.