The "Dirty George" revealed as the origins of the Thong Bikini!

Breaking News!;

After a long interrogation of a captured illegal Brazilian immigrant, long thought to be of the terrorist network that introduced the thong to the American public.... it was revealed that the true origins of the thong actually trace to a personal bad experience that the Brazilian gentleman had in his youth.

Apparently, according to his account.... he was tortured for information allot by the local village governments as a child, and frequently would receive "Dirty Georges" for extended periods of time. So long in fact, according to his testimony, that eventually he "would just start wearing his underwear [i]WAY[/i] up his butt crack" of his own volition. "But I'm not gay" he added to his testimony... "really..... no really...and one time they gave me such a bad Dirty George that they pulled my underwear over my head, backwards! I had to pop my neck out of joint just to get them off that night."

It is also believed after having been informed of this information, that the Pentagon is investigating the connection of the "Dirty George" and all other humanitarian violations on the planet .....breathing new life into their investigation from thirty years ago pertaining to a question of connection between the popularity of the "Dirty George" and a conspiracy to influence the American markets through selling and using more stain remover.

"It makes sense" said a spokemen from the Pentagon... "It makes sense that the Brazilian Gorilla forces would pick up on American interogation tactics..... then from there.... if you consider the introduction of mind altering drugs.... a person could see where the thong Bikini would make perfect sense coming from the Dirty George in the hands of notorious Brazilian illegals and thugs."

When asked why they sought a connection between the Dirty George and all other humanitarian violations on the planet, the Pentagon responded "Why not.... everyone else has a lame excuse. The Dirty George seems as valid as any when you think about it."

When an anonymous stripper in Miami was asked if she was aware of the origins of her "sexy undies" design.... Her immediate statement was; "as if...? Everybody knows that..... isn't it obvious when you peek down the back of someones pants and all that there is looks just like you just gave them a dirty george? My neighbors pet monkey could have told you that. Now drink up or get out!"

Michael Jackson could not be reached for questioning.