President Bush Confirmed to have been Captured By Aliens!

It was confirmed today, that President Bush was captured by aliens yesterday, with his announcement in the news this morning for the United States population to actually try and conserve fuel.

"It just about gave Dick (Cheney) another heart attack," said a White house aid. "None of us could believe he issued such a statement. There were hundreds of calls within minutes from close relations requesting an immediate psychiatric evaluation" he continued.... "It was really quite alarming."

The presidential medical staff was immediately called to administer extra happy pills all around after the "Presidential Statement" was issued.

The N.S.A. was notified immediately as well, as was the C.I.A., the Secret Guys that Chase Martians, and that guy from the X Files.

Another spokes person from a closer organization to the President, that wear all black, issued an official statement pertaining to the situation in an effort to calm any fears and to address the problem as soon as possible;

"It has been made quite obvious to the population of the world this morning, that our President is not the person he/she/it claims to be. We have the entity in custody within the walls of Guantanamo and are presently involved with a line of questioning. It has long been suspected that what ever it is possessing the body of President Bush, "ain't from 'round these here parts" as so eloquently put by many of his close business associates.

"Rest assured that all of the super duper secret agent guys have everything well in hand. What ever this thing is, will not get away to do any more harm. It would appear that this 'alien body' has been slowly working it's way into President Bush's likeness for some time. At least that is what we are all going to say when people really start asking the hard questions. .... and why not..... it works on T.V."

"He apparently slipped up, who ever he/it really is," said long a long time companion of the Real President Bush and Dick Cheney. "We all knew fer dern sure when he asked the nation to conserve fuel.... beyond any doubt, that who ever it was, just wasn't our boy Dubya!"

"The secret service is in some real hot water," said Cheney as he was wheeled out on a gurney... "I'm tempted to tell all of their moms!"


In an emergency meeting in the press room with as many elected officials in the direct vicinity as could be brought together on such short notice, a very official looking guy in black leather with a big gun, took the podium and started asking questions;

"Can anyone explain the funny looking, very alien of the Martian kind.... antenna's sticking out of the Presidents head? Anyone? Can someone explain that goofy grin on his face when he made that statement? Anybody? Who in their right mind would believe that the real President Bush would tell anyone NOT to use fuel? Anyone have an answer for that? Anyone? Hello...! Is this thing on?"

His questions were met with the silence of a scolded high school gym class trying to avoid detention.

"At least..." he sputtered in disgust.... "at least we know you people can keep one kind of secret or another."