Laugh Button - Jokes On Someone?

The Union For The Television Viewers of America has made an unprecidented move within the entertainment industry as a whole. It has filed the largest "threat of strike" in recorded organized union history. They plan to strike across the entire entertainment industry on December 25 of 2005 if it is that their demands are not met. No one, and I mean NO ONE will watch any more T.V.

It would seem that the members of the U.F.T.V.A. have been secretly working on a new standard for live television studio audiences around the world. Under their new contract, no longer will studio audiences be forced to respond like chimps in a science experiment every time some guy "off camera," with some headphones raises his arms and the applause light comes on. Under this new arrangment studio audiences will have much greater freedom of choice as to expressing their OWN feelings about the quality of the programing.

The U.F.T.V.A. in conjunction with the Really Super Smart Television Audience Scientific Guys have designed and produced a very modern mechanism which will allow such freedoms and equality for ALL studio audiences. It is that the U.F.T.V.A. and the R.S.S.T.A.S.G. have conducted extensive (though somewhat severe) research over the past 6 years which has actually resulted in some minor disfugurement of participants as well as a few deaths. These mishaps have all been documented and filed in true union form, as well as aquited immediately due to the pre-arranged contracts with the "volunteer" participants.

The mechanism is still somewhat of a secret beyond the photograph and short explanation that was issued after their press conference at Denny's. According to Mr. Bunnyears of the R.S.S.T.A.S.G., the total bill for the ten people in attendance at Denny's will be more expensive than the development and instalment of the finished "laugh panel" in every television studio around the world, also in true union form.

In a slip of sorts, it was divulged that the instrument itself is actually a decoy to get the studio audience to act more like trained chimps. Reports have it that the entertainers were tired of feeling like bigger trained chimps than the audience, and thought that they needed to "level the playing field" just a little. In no big surprise the general public has yet to catch on to the fact that their U.F.T.V.A. representatives are actually caving in to bribery and favoritism of the celebrity population.

This anonymous statement was left scribbled on a napkin at Denny's after the conference; "It's gonna be like lambs to the slaughter, man.. isn't this great?"