Eli Lily and Starbucks Team to Bring the World "Zac-uccino!"

No longer will people have to sit reading out dated magazines, listening to one another trade polite and over sensitive comments, simply to get some un-identifiable scribble dubbed "signature" on a piece of paper to authorize some prescription medications.

Prozac and other antidepressants (seratonin manipulators) will soon be available in a near over the counter manner for people with an established and consistent usage. Simply approach your regular coffee guy or gal at the local Starbucks and order yourself a double tall Zac-uccino which will provide your daily dosage of antidepressant medication along with all of it's very pronounced and widely known side effects that the F.D.A. continues to ignore.

"Why not?" said a Starbucks representative.... "It isn't like the F.D.A. actually regulates anything anyhow.... the adverse effects of ProZac have been widely know for some years, but the government has continued to allow such drugs to be prescribed in a very 'experimental' atmosphere. Many physicians have likened it to using a machete for surgery. Even as the side effects continue to manifest, as long as they (we) can keep it quiet... we can keep selling it to people..... so with that, knowing that the F.D.A. is really in no position to regulate such things anymore... and knowing that most people really don't need a prescription to get pharmaceutical grade drugs anyway... a few of us "bigwig hobknobbers" got together and decided that the country, and the world, could really benefit from a hot (or iced) cup of Zac-uccino. And what a team, huh? Starbucks just can't be stopped."

This should really be ground breaking for our company as well as the prescription drug world. Imagine the ease of filling your daily medication needs with the pleasure of a nice cup of espresso? Soon, as they envision, anyone with any type of prescription needs will be able to fill those needs from any of their coffee establishments. No more long lines at the pharmacy. No more feeling as though you have been alienated with your need for medication. Think of it! Your daily "medication cocktail" even, in the form of the average cup of coffee, in the very welcoming atmosphere of your local coffee house.

To address the concerns of the "non-medicated" population, Starbucks has issued this statement; "Though it does seem as though problems could arise from mis-dosage or even a non-user being mistakenly medicated... these risks will be at a level far less than even at the pharmacy. Our company in conjunction with many of the major pharmaceutical manufacturers, are devising a system that is virtually fool proof. There will be several different mixtures of powdered versions of the drugs, pre-measured and premixed in most instances... as well as the pills themselves being mixed in with the coffee beans for the visual effect within the bean grinders themselves. There will be no risk of wrongfully medicating anyone, as the "Zac-uccino" machines will be in addition to the already existing coffee service equipment. An expansion of sorts."

While this is all still in the preliminary stages, it is looking as though it is "on the fast track" to actually be implemented. Already within the medical fields, there has begun a movement for the purpose of organizing "patients" into groupings for the ease of efficiency for this program. Many will simply be issued a "Zac-uccino Card" which will function a dual responsibility as "prescription identification/verification" and "payment/debit/accounting."

One of the problems that is foreseen, is the abuse of such a cool program from the direction of the "occasional" users. Those that obtain prescriptions sporadically.

This could prove to be a real downer for those of us that would love to just be able to "walk in and tune out" as it were, in the spirit of the great American passtime of power lounging and binging on sedatives and pain killers alla Rock Stars, Beat Writers, Comedian Personalities, Jack Nicholson, Crispen Glover and Johnny Depp.

More on this as it develops.