Harpo's Horn Proves Invaluable!

World Wide Press - In what many have noted to be the most successful covert operation carried out by the "black" forces contracted by the C.I.A. in some decades.... rivaling the level of achievement attained in the cold war era, George Bush senior has issued a statement officially denying the plot, possession of, or use of Harpo Marx's horn.... he did so with "One Honk and a frown," after being asked if he knew the where abouts of the prized, hand held, squeeze bulb horn or if the C.I.A. had anything to do with it as many suspect.


It seems that through years of close investigation and much effort from the acclaimed "spy organization," one of the long term goals has been met with great success... that being the capture of Harpo's horn. More that we know of Harpo's horn having been captured, though none have stepped forward to claim this magnificent "job." The Russians have yet to issue a statement, but many think it will be "Two Honks and a happy face" in a sad attempt to hide their envy and to try to lay claim to the stolen horn themselves.


House Majority Whip, Roy Blunt has "un-officially" requested that the Horn be employed in the House of Representatives.... particularly in place of his "old wooden hammer and long periods where I have to talk allot," that quote; "it just isn't that much fun to bang my hammer around and yammer on for hours, any more."


Hillary Rodham Clinton was reported as saying off the record; "I would like to see Roy with a big horn.... it seems like it would compliment his whip rather efficiently." She continued..."besides, if he had it in the house... I would get to squeeze it now and then... especially if I was on the floor...."


In a recent press conference related to the clean up activity of New Orleans.... many reporters could not help but to address the issue of the C.I.A.'s apparent "score" in regard to Harpo's Horn. President Bush could hardly contain himself with several "One Honk/happy face" replies, through a few "One and Two Honk/sad face" replies pertaining to New Orleans.

The entire nation is to act as though they are totally baffled and without the faintest clue as to what anyone is talking about..... such is the dictatorial order sent down from the White House punctuated with a firm "three Honks/scowl."


I suggest with that, that none take it entirely too lightly.