Mail Order Halloween "Tricks" and "Treats!"

Tired of taking your children OUT to trick or treat?

Maybe you want a little more spice in your own Halloween?

The Organization For The Furthering of Cultural Stagnation has come up with a wonderful new service; Trick or Treat -O- Grams delivered to your door.

In the fast pace of our modern society, it isn't hard to understand the growing demand for such a service. All a person/family need do is fill out the Trick or Treat -O- Gram and send it or drop it off at the nearest participating retail/mammoth conglomerate shopping center, and Halloween comes directly to your door.

Full costumed representatives of major candy producers, loaded with treats of all sorts (depending upon your pre-set specifics), show up at your front door as many times as you have requested. Each time being different costumed representatives.

You and your child remain comfortably seated on the couch watching television in your home, waiting for the doorbell to ring. Upon answering the door you will be met with the customary "Trick or Treat" accompanied with loads of candy and "goodies" that you have specified.

There is even a separate service from the same organization, for the adult market group. I.D. is required for this area of the "Halloween at Home" service as are a few other specific requirements.

The O.F.C.S. decided to capitalize on the growing laziness of the modern middle American, in conjunction with the Nielson Media Research group... who have shown a steady increase in their Halloween evening ratings since the launch of an anonymous scare campaign which began to sweep the Nation in the mid/late eighties. Since then, more and more people have found excuse not to be active with their children on Halloween. It seems it just got too scary for the adults.

Unfortunately it will not be possible to obtain the "egging" package this year, as it is still in the developmental stage.

The O.F.C.S. and all major television networks hope that you enjoy this impending onset in American Society.