New Holiday Declared for that "Halmark" void between Christmas and Summer!

Naked snowman building day? No.

Snowman building day while naked? No.

Skydive your pet day? No.

It is so simple that it is brilliant! The void itself between Christmas/New Year and Summer is to be celebrated itself!

That is the latest from the mucky mucks that decide which holidays to spend your money on. According to Professor Holiday Guy and the National Coalition for Use Our Products, in many surveys around the United States, people found themselves nearly bored to death in those winter months with nothing except Valentines day to help them pretend that they are happy and to spend money.

So with that, it has been declared that from January 3 of each year, until March 31 of each year, every citizen of the U.S. and Canada will officially be in a holiday mind set. They have been instructed to treat each day as if it were the average day during the holiday season. They are to consume and party as if it were near Christmas.

Those that frequent ski slopes and lodges will have no problem with this, but for most of the other people it may prove to be quite the challenge. Quite the challenge that is, until the Corporate Holiday Overlord released the official dictation for ALL business' to function as so.

Hang overs, according to the Overlord, will not only be welcomed in the work place, but will actually be required in some positions. Las Vegas Motorcycle Patrol to be one of them.

"Hell, this is gonna be just like the ol' days" said Dick Vegetable, a retired Las Vegas Motorcycle Patrolman on disability from on the job injuries. "I can remember goin' to traffic court and bein' just as drunk as the Judge. We're really gonna have a handle on this one. Don't nunya worry a bit... just do like we do and everthang 'll be fine."

Already there is a rush to design and produce "perpetual holiday" friendly products.

"This should be quite the boon for the Hallmark folks" stated Miss Rumpledskirt, the head marketing director for Lubricated Toys Inc. All of our people are already in full swing on design for this magnificent opportunity. This should open our market WAY up.... and thank goodness for the National Coalition for Use Our Products introducing Captain Trademark... they should get allot of action in this new Holiday Season."

Some advice from our editing staff; Way to shop. Don't forget to include a card, or maybe Say It With Flowers... just as long as it's Your Way, Right Away. I'm Lovin' it, because Good Things Come To Those Who Shop which makes it all Finger Lickin' Good with a Deliciously Sophisticated New Look. So Think Different and don't forget that it's the Real Thing, and most definitely It's The Cola in The Choice of a New Generation, just because it keeps Going and Going and Going and Going.

When it Absolutely, Positively Has To Be there Overnight, Just do It... Reach Out and Touch Someone... or maybe Fly The Friendly Skies, but Don't Leave Home Without It. It's The Ultimate Driving Machine. So don't be concerned as We Try Harder in The Art Of Performance and We Bring Good Things To Life.